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Why I Don’t Agree With “Detachment” for Spiritual Growth

Updated: Jun 16, 2022

By Jessenia Nozzolillo


I saw this meme, and I know it’s a popular belief so it made me think.

Let me share why I disagree with it.


Detachment is a symptom of trauma. It happens when we remove ourself from any emotional response because we aren’t sure how to appropriately respond to that overwhelming emotion and we believe avoidance is the only solution, even if it’s not a solution at all.

Why do I disagree with the idea that detachment is necessary for awakening? If you are new to my social media, then you will discover that I travel deep into people's past lives, soul records, patterns and channel client's higher self (master soul), Spirit guides and Creator to acknowledge their multidimensional wounds currently surfacing as “blocks” to this life and this life’s experience. Sometimes they surface as personality traits, behavioral patterns, thought processes and or life patterns. I have now had many clients come to me “unable to feel." There are different variations of this issue. Some are so severe that they look for ways to hurt others because they are desperately seeking to feel anything, taking the violence further every time trying to trigger their threshold. Some are what we call narcissist, who are unable to understand or feel anything not directly tied to their emotions and self. Some simply do not understand emotion in others and have to learn through other languages like body language, sex, writing, music, DIRECT clear explanations and more. But all have stopped feeling. What makes people stop feeling? What does it even mean to stop feeling? FEELING at 100% of my capability is what allows me to be so gifted. At first, it felt like too much. It was incredibly overwhelming. It was painful. The suffering of the world, starvation, homelessness, loss, grief, murder. It was incredibly painful. I used to completely black out, cry and even tried to mute the emotion not knowing what to do with it. I’ve learned many skills over different lifetimes but every lifetime we need to relearn those skills and implement them. For so many years I thought feeling was the issue. Now I understand feeling is not the issue, it’s lack of self control and gift mastery. But if philosophers and healers of the past didn’t recognize the power and depth of the soul, the need for proper gift use and mastery, they might have instead focused on the surface issues—everything stops hurting if you detach yourself from it. Great. You took your pill. But you didn’t heal the problem. You didn’t elevate. You simply chose avoidance. Feeling is what connects me to the cosmic fabric of the collective. Feeling deeply is what aligns me to our cosmic mission here. Feeling deeply is what gives me hope that the world will find peace. Feeling deeply is what allows me to be compassionate for all people. Feeling deeply allows me to forgive, move on and release. Feeling deeply is authenticity at its finest, my food source and my passion for life. If I had blocked that instead of facing the fears and feeling deeper, I would not be me. My gifts would have all shut down and I would not have been able to help thousands globally. That “quick pill” is emotional detachment, and that emotional detachment is always connected to some severe trauma when and where the individual was so hurt that the emotions overwhelmed them into blocking emotion altogether. Some examples include: Losing a loved one tragically. Repeated abuse and harm. Continued life patterns of intense suffering. Abandonment and abuse as a child. Neglect in childhood. To heal this, I go back into these memories and help the people properly grieve the loss. Then we move on into correcting the response system and by facing the fear. In clearing the trauma and working through its specific pain, we learn to understand that yes, this might have happened and that is sad and horrific. But, it is simply a drop in the ocean of love they have received, and unless we allow ourselves to feel again, we won’t be able to fully correct the wound. We correct the wound, by overwhelming it with equal and opposite emotion. Deep love created from deep feeling. See the pattern? We can help others out of their suffering, when we have overcome it. We cannot heal a wound without filling that void with the most powerful emotion, love. Sometimes the wound is so severe that I have to do energetic amputation and remove the wound completely, then sending it to a place where it can receive continuous love over time. At this point, we begin feeling again. Little by little. We allow ourselves into the depths of that emotion. So many philosophers, gurus, healers, spiritual leaders of the past, and even monks push the idea of detachment. Essentially, if you know nothing is yours then you don’t need to grieve its loss, and that will bring you peace. They claim that this somehow connects you to the inherent wisdom of the universe that nothing is ours and no one/or thing truly matters. I can’t help but see this as a trauma response to an issue they possibly couldn’t gauge. Love is beautiful. Love is powerful. But in love we also lose. We grieve. We separate. That’s a natural fact of the matter. No one is with one person/soul forever. But does that mean it’s best to detach yourself from relationships and reaching new heights in emotion? To stunt your emotional expansion? We are not detached beings. Your soul is a fragment of your home dimension and Creator. In living, you experience more of those fragments through interaction, love, curiosity and intention. We seek new experiences because that is the language of existence. We love and desire interaction so greatly that we would continuously choose travel, exploration and incarnation. So even at soul level, we are not detached in any sense. Your soul group is a piece of a cosmic being also looking for interaction. The ways we connect are endless, and the ways we detach are simply avoidance patterns for a “quick fix” to something we didn’t at the time have the tools to understand or comprehend. We’ve created the process of detachment to mask something we were too scared to face. Detachment steps in when we encounter something so deep and painful and don’t have the tools to comprehend what we are feeling. We separate ourselves from the situation, emotion and thus the outcome. In turn we find the illusion of peace. Detachment says, “I don’t have the tools for this, so I won't feel that deeply again. I will just avoid this subject altogether.”


Healing says, “I’ve felt deeply, and healed. Now, I can go deeper and understand more. I can move forward in my evolution and growth without fear and am no longer limited by the pain. I am freed by the experience and ready to continue my emotional expansion.” Yes, pulling away from everyone and everything will bring you the illusion of peace. It will be very peaceful with no outside interference, no family, no love, no items, no triggers, no thoughts. But the idea is that we learn to live our best life, instead of a “peaceful” uninterrupted life with no challenges. We need to learn to have the strength to face our challenges head on, by making the most of every moment and not detaching from everything that makes us uncomfortable.


We are here to feel deeply. That is the beauty of Earth. Its density enhances all things, including emotion. Denying that experience is denying the lesson and gift of Earth itself, one of the most unique and profound incarnations known to Spirit. Copyright Protected Jessenia Nozzolillo 2022


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Thanks for insight

いいね!
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