by Jessenia Nozzolillo
In the Akashkc Records, soul records and encyclopedia, a twin-flame is a soul-level relationship of 300 or more lives centered in love, passion, and romantic relationships. This partner would not be able to play with a friend, co-worker, or family member. The magnetism is too strong, and it would be hard to keep a platonic relationship unless the relationship exploded and ended before the “friendship.” The friendship likely still very difficult to maintain. Or, as in other cases, both sides agreed to not activate the twin-flame dynamic in this lifetime because of the extreme toxicity in the connection.
The twin-flame union is the activation of the memories. This usually happens in the physical presence of the lesser sensitive souls, which means physical touch. This also means that we are not likely accidentally activating unions with people across the world, if that was not the life plan. More sensitive and very aware souls only need to know the person to activate the memories. Past life memory recall will create a solid pull/bond, and the souls will then have to decide to activate the label connected to the memories but can choose to repress the bond, not igniting the label or switch.
This is a soul-level choice knowing the connection is not favorable and essentially could become dangerous or toxic for the parties involved. In a case like this, the memories of the connection could remain muted to save both parties' from unnecessary pain. This could also means we forget who we were for those lifetimes. The memory being muted would affect not only the relationship bond but also the experiences, memories, lessons, growth, and challenges within the bond which is why we don’t like to mute the connection. This would be a worst-case scenario.
Twin-flame toxicity is quite common! People with that many lives together also have strong patterns with one another over the lifetimes, which means, if there were a strong pattern of infidelity, that distrust would resound deeply within the activated dynamic, creating intense jealousy and insecurity even if it’s not grounded in this life. That may not be easy to manage in a healthy manner without understanding what is happening or how the twin-flame dynamic works. This can quickly escalates to toxic patterns like abuse, manipulation, jealousy, victim mindset, insecurity, and so forth.
Twin-flames have to be treated as a flame. This means both partners take turns giving. Give and pull back. Wait for your partner to give in return. The second you “take your partner's place,” giving when they should, they pull away. Your actions are direct reflections of their avoidance. They are balancing aspects of each other. Opposites in many ways! How does that work? If you take on all the responsibility, the partner will pull away and be more distant. A natural reflection that you are not letting your partner be needed in the dynamic and calling your partner home for service through action. In a flame union, one SHOULD look within and say, “I’m having a hard time letting myself be helped or supported. Where did this begin? What’s the underlying trauma and belief system that keeps me in this pattern? How can we fix this?” Most couples don’t realize this dynamic, so when they feel their partner “pull away” while they are drowning in responsibilities, they tend to blame the partner. “This is your fault. Where are you? Why aren’t you helping or doing more your not being the person I need?” We get to a place of blame, and blame fuels more blame through self-defense responses. In this dynamic, twin-flames can become explosive and toxic. This is really common in a twin-flame connection because most people don't understand the relationship dynamic and how to dive into it., heal it, work with it. Just understand that your partner's actions are a direct reflection of yours, and if for some reason this gets toxic, no one should take any abuse from anyone regardless of the soul level dynamic.
A twin-flame is the soul on Earth that will know you the most. They have experienced the most fragments of your past and current lives and understand you deeply. It is not you, but when it comes to soul level database they are the closest reflection of you. That can be very addictive and powerful to the human who feels unseen or the soul who feels infinite and without an anchor.
A twin-flames purpose is that of a reflective mirror and unity. The one being that can and will always be bonded to you at soul level as a reflective mirror, someone to house your memories in case you should lose them. A reflective database. They do not have to be of the same soul group. In fact, most people choose a twin-flame in another soul group as it’s a part of the lesson—expansion, and union through the stars. Most people have 300-700 lives here on Earth, which means most people have 0-1 twin-flames. It’s not impossible to have more; you would simply have to be the anomaly in the matter that has 600+ lives on Earth. Most higher-self would not waste time starting from scratch trying to build another twin-flame union. Usually, what they would do is continue building on one with a lot of energy already invested into it. Some people with 300 lives do not have a twin-flame. One possibility is the flame did not incarnate this round or 2; they haven’t yet had that many lives with one solid partner within their incarnations to make the minimum life requirement to activate the soul level relationship title.
Twin-flames will need to understand that their toxicity is a direct reflection of their energy; sometimes, that means knowing when to stop showing up to the “show.” For example, yes, they are toxic now, but you don't have to keep coming to the show, which makes you complicit to the toxicity and a participant. PLEASE, PROTECT YOURSELF. Both parties have to acknowledge their responsibility in the matter. Unfortunately, toxic twin-flame culture would have people believing that they must put up with the abuse because of the soul level dynamic. That is absolutely false. You have all the power to let go, but it will be very hard.
Twin-flame relationships are a powerful tool for healing. They know you so well that they are not likely to take garbage from you. Their job is to challenge growth in you because in challenging you, they also grow. You help each other expand to new awareness. The twin-flame union is constant cycling and spinning. Give and take. When there is nothing to give or take or challenge, they might get too comfortable “doing nothing,” and the flame burns out. In this case, make sure to rediscover your passions on your own. Leave the house. To reair this, do something that calls on you for expansion like a new hobby, class or craft. Your partner will do the same, then you can come home to share in your experiences and again reflect off each other. When and if a twin-flame union doesn’t work out, they always have soulmate options. Any given person has many soulmate options available to them.
If a twin-flame dynamic explodes (gets to a place of such toxicity that it is no longer favorable to be a part of this dynamic then ends in an emotional disruption like a volcano), there is only one way to clear yourself fully. That is to find love more profound than the flame. Many people have a tough time fleeing and disconnecting from twin-flame unions because it is such an intense soul-level bond. You are not only fighting yourself, you are fighting 300+ versions of yourself who are bonded to this being and pulling the flame in. Because most of us do not have the ability or time to review 300 incarnations and clear them of the traumas or debts, we frequently feel trapped by the soul bond. You cannot cut etheric chords with a twin-flame. It would be like amputating all of your memories. An ethric chord is an energetic chord to people you've bonded to or know.
If you are ready to clear a twin-flame union IN THIS LIFE, then you must first forgive FULLY in order to release any karic bonds and ties to the person. Forgiveness and karmic balance allows you to take in the memories and therefore the lessons without the emotional charge of the traumas that occurred while making the memories. This does not fully disconnect them from you, only reduces the intensity of the connection as it clears the pain, regret, fears, jealousy and negative emotional responses that may be lingering from the lives making their presence in this world easier to manage. Karmic release also means that you are not as pulled to one another because you are forgiving the debts owed and therefor the magnatizim of those debts subsides. To release, say “I (say your name) fully release (twin-flame partner’s) higher-self and all fragments from their karmic debts to me. I am no longer holding on to the debts created. I deserve happiness and release the bond.” In this instance, one would need to seek a bond more intense than the flame itself. That kind of intense flush through forgivness beings us closer to our creator in unconditional love and therefor allows us to infuse with their energy. There is only one being in the world that has known you longer than a twin-flame, that is your creator. We essentially fill the void created by the severance of the twin-flame bond with the unconditional love of our creator, understanding in all of the existence this powerful entity thought we were valuable, essential, and necessary in this vast space. And regardless of how many times we have messed up, hurt, or been hurt, our creator always awaits our return with open, loving arms. That is the only bond stronger than the twin-flame.
Toxic twin-flame culture is the belief that a twin-flame title means you MUST put up with someone's toxicity and abuse. That is 100% false. Because of this toxic culture dynamic, I have out together scales of toxicity so we can evaluate our relationships and stay away from danger zones.
Below is a general scale of toxicity specifically for a twin-flame relationship. Because they are so unique, powerful, and deeply dynamic— we may find ourselves stuck in many dimensions of the twin-flame union. The scale below is made to help you better understand your relationship now and how to heal (if possible) the position you’re in. These are just general examples! These are not specific to anyone, to see how these fases specifically affect you, I would have to read your lives and life patterns.
* Negative neutrality. The relationship can feel mundane, dull, lackluster, lose passion, and the flame feels dead. So neutral that both people are losing their individual identity and need to expand outward into their own personalities, hobby’s, interests, and events to engage the opposing flame in actions of growth.
* Balanced, a rare place to be. Both parties recognize that they are responsible for their interpretation of their reality and thus able to go inward and heal internal trauma instead of blaming the other partner, projecting their trauma into the other partner, manipulating the other partner. They are individuals who love supporting each other's individuality and thus have passionate love. They don’t degrade one another to make a point. They don’t stunt each other's growth. They don’t manipulate or lie to get the outcome they desire because they understand that distrust in a union is a fatal poison and hurting your flame means hurting yourself.
* 10 through 20% toxicity. A pretty natural place to be. Most people are here simply because they don’t understand the twin-flame dynamic and don’t recognize that everything that bothers you is merely a reflection of your inner trauma. They don’t understand that action in a twin-flame union will naturally pull in the equal and opposite action. For example, a partner goes out every Friday. You might feel that is unfair and strikes imbalance. But you’ve never gone out or created a routine outside of the home. You are showing emotion to their actions because you feel like you don’t have friends, can’t make connections, or have lost the will to create external relationships, which pulls on your partner as you try to make them responsible for that void. Instead, one would address the trauma that created the reaction and strike a balance by ensuring you are rotating Fridays out and supporting EACH OTHER's social lives outside of the home. Not blaming the partner for lack of social life.
* 20-30% toxicity. Also quite common on Earth. One partner is constantly blaming the other for not trying hard enough to please the other partner. This constant blame eventually creates a sacrifice dynamic where one person changes everything about themselves to accommodate the other partner's needs. They may stop using specific language that their partner finds triggering; they may change how they dress, who they spend time with, how they respond, and if they respond at all. One partner is left feeling like they are constantly walking on eggshells to appease the other partner. The other partner sees no reality in which this could be their fault. They use blame to justify their toxic behavior. “If you cleaned up, I wouldn't be mad. If you did what you were told, I wouldn't be mad.” This should instead be addressed as “I recognize a negative reaction in myself. This has a root. I will dig deeper and find the root, so I stop blaming my partner for the pain and stress I feel.” A great example is person one “I do everything in this house. I take care of the family, children, bills, and now the kids suffer in school. It’s your fault! You aren’t here. Why did you do that to them.” The truth is that children are a natural reflection of both parents. You created a relationship in which you naturally assumed and absorbed all the responsibility. This is a people-pleasing trauma response. You learned to seek praise from unavailable parents through people pleasing because your parents were emotionally detached and busy. You continued that pattern. You aren’t sure how to love and be present, so you’re constantly pulling in responsibilities and work to avoid the emotional disconnection and lack you felt as a child. But in turn, you are repeating the pattern of being emotionally unavailable for your children because you are drowning in the responsibilities you forced into your life. Now your children are feeling that lack and suffering emotionally, socially, and in their connections. Strike a balance. Write out the responsibilities. Split them in half. Learn not to seek business. Learn to set aside specific time only for your kids. Learn to sit with your emotions and express them. Give your children the attention they need for a healthy example of love outside of being “good” and needing praise or being “bad” and needing repercussions.
*30-40% toxicity. One partner is so overwhelmed they have become self-destructive and passive-aggressive. This is a placement of victimization. We get to a place of such overwhelming defeat that we start accepting and calling in our own mistreatment wearing the victim badge. The stronger one partner gets in their polarity, the weaker the partner gets in that polarity. So essentially, if one partner claims victim, the other energetically claims oppressor. This can evolve into dangerous, abusive patterns, infidelity, one partner taking advantage of the presence of the other. The only way to strike a balance here is to step out of the victim mentality and recognize your role in this relationship. Take full accountability for what’s yours and make a change in your behavior, forcing a counterweight reaction from your partner. It has nothing to do with damaging more “time, kindness, love, affection or respect” from your partner. This is about being your own source of those elements enough to shift your partner's reaction to your energy. In this dynamic, the victim will birth and pull in people who they may confuse as “narcissists.” But the “victim” needs to understand they have created an imbalance by constantly sacrificing energy to anyone who will take it. If you feed the wolves, they will come in packs. Wolves will not stop to consider what this meal cost. They are hungry and here to eat. As long as you are a “victim,” you will pull in energy thieves. Givers need to set boundaries because takers never do. Your energy is your responsibility.
*40-50% verbal and mental abuse. One partner is the victim, and the other the oppressor. In both partner's eyes, they see themselves as the victim. The energetic imbalance is so severe that both sides have difficulty making sense of what truly is. For example, the oppressor will feel like it’s the victim's fault for never getting anything right and never providing the proper reaction/action/behavior. So the oppressor has made itself a victim in their minds. They have no control over their actions and cannot create change in the relationship because “Everything they have tried simply isn’t working.” Both sides oppress in their own way. Both sides victimize in their own way. They are so set on their innocence in the matter that they viciously attack with no regard for the pain their words, actions, and behavior are causing. Once this line has been crossed, it’s nearly impossible to turn around. We may forgive, but it’s hard to forget. To repair this, both parties have to be willing to let everything go. Everything. Who they were. What happened. Who said what. Who did what? They need to erase the past and attempt the relationship from the beginning with the understanding of the twin-flame dynamic in mind. They need to speak to each other with nothing but compassion. They need to be willing to reconstruct the dynamic in the relationship from scratch, making sure never to take jabs and one another or live in the past. Couple therapy is an excellent tool for this. This is only if abuse has not occurred. Never, ever stay in an abusive relationship. They know what they did. They will do it again. If you’ve been abused, the fact that you are reading this isn’t because they loved you enough to stop. It is because you got lucky, and you won’t always be that lucky.
*50-60% “accidental” physical abuse. One partner may “explode” and attack the other partner throwing something that “accidentally” hit another. Saying that it was “rough play” or “fun sex that got out of control” or “an animal in the road” that caused them to slam their breaks on and hurt another. They might speed and threaten to crash the car if you don’t take them back and comply, then act like it’s ok because you “were never in real danger.” They will make their partner feel like they are overreacting. This is a gateway to more violence. Recognize the danger you are in. It is a warning of what is to come. Walk away from any relationship where someone is trying to get comfortable abusing you. To fix this, LEAVE. This behavior escalates quickly. At this point, you have allowed your partner or self to get too comfortable hurting each other. All respect is gone. All trust shattered. Your life is now in danger. Leave. “Staying together for the kids” means teaching the kids abuse is normal and ok. They will repeat the patterns they learned. It is not better. It is better to leave in all cases no matter what is at risk. I recommend individual therapy and/or sessions to work through the abuse and manipulation you’ve encountered. If you don’t heal those patterns, you will continue to carry them into future relationships where people remind you that you are still in a “victim” mentality, pulling in energy vampires and toxic wolves.
*60-70% addictions and escape. One partner lives in a reality they created fully disconnected from the truth available to the general public. They live in denial of their actions and the consequences of those actions. Undeniable violence. They make no sense of their violent behavior because that would mean they aren’t the victim in this dynamic. Anger, pain, explosive energy is so overwhelming they either party may try to drown it out with drugs, alcohol, infidelity, etc. Whatever avoidance tool they can get their hands on. To fix this, leave. Being present allows their self-destruction to continue. Their destruction is energetically yours to keep, regardless of being together or not. If you want to help, leave. Put as much space between you as possible and allow them to take full responsibility for their actions without you present. Intense denial requires an intense focus on accountability. That can only be done in separation at this point and time. As one partner heals, so does the other, as long as they stay apart. I recommend individual therapy and/or sessions to work through the abuse and manipulation you’ve encountered. If you don’t heal those patterns, you will continue to carry them into future relationships where people remind you that you are still in a “victim” mentality, pulling in energy vampires and toxic wolves.
*70-80% explosive warring between both parties. Both parties are in survival mode. There can be times of peace. But those times of peace are quickly lost to aggressive, explosive attacks, jabs at character, verbal/mental/physical/sexual abuse, and disrespect. You are fighting more than you are happy. Deep resounding change can only happen in separation. To fix this leave. At this point, you both need to make yourselves the focus, and in this reality, the only way to do that is in separation, with distance. Minding your business and not involving yourself with each other in any way. I recommend individual therapy and/or sessions to work through the abuse and manipulation you’ve encountered. If you don’t heal those patterns, you will continue to carry them into future relationships where people remind you that you are still in a “victim” mentality, pulling in energy vampires and toxic wolves.
*80-90% absolute destruction. Violence is now daily. You don’t remember the last time you were happy—absolute need for separation. Trauma has struck too deep, and the wounds are too raw to heal. Both parties need space and should work to “save themselves.” In healing self, you naturally help your flame heal too. In no circumstance should these people have contact outside of necessities like mutual children. I recommend individual therapy and/or sessions to work through the abuse and manipulation you’ve encountered. If you don’t heal those patterns, you will continue to carry them into future relationships where people remind you that you are still in a “victim” mentality, pulling in energy vampires and toxic wolves.
*90-100% the continuation. The generations that follow are now experiencing abusive patterns. This can be family members, by standards, children. They can be involved in any case. But in this case, it’s molding their reality of relationships and creating self-destructive patterns in them that they will need to resolve through their own future relationships. The explosive toxicity is now the foundation of their relationship structure, and they will need to work through it in their own actions and with their free will through their own life. The trauma is beyond you now as the symbolic torch has been passed.
To learn about your sopecific relationship dynamic, book Akashic Report 2a.
*No relationship or relationship dynamic means you must or even should tolerate abusive behavior to “make things work”. Despite anything that may come up in this report, if abuse is present you need to end the relationship immediately. NO RELATIONSHIP is safe when abuse patterns have been established. Your physical/mental/emotional/sexual safety must be the priority in any relationship dynamic.
Copyright Protected Jessenia Nozzolillo 2021