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The Obsession with Perfection

By Jessenia Nozzolillo

Your obsession for the illusion of perfection is your greatest cage.


I hear everyone blame social media and advertisements for creating this obsession with perfection, the need for a perfect body, skin, look, and style.


But we watch. Our attention feeds the fad. Our participation nurtures the pattern. Our interest boosts the sales. Our involvement is permission. As long as we are obsessed with the illusion of perfection, there will be people who abuse that and profit off of it. It’s time we promote the beauty and REALITY of imperfection.

Stop blaming media. It’s us.

The media feeds us what sells. Look at all of the women obsessed with chasing trending beauty practices. And beauty sells because we are obsessed with the illusion of the perfect female. She is thin, well poised, balances emotions, life and stress like a queen. She bites her tongue. She manages life and still has the ability to seduce men when needed. She is a house keeper, cleaner, cook, chauffeur, nanny, all in one —while looking perfect with whatever surgery that requires. She should dance, but not so much that she looks silly. She should be sexy, but not so much that it entices other men. She should be successful, but not if she is making her partner uncomfortable with her success. She should be loud, only when she is singing in tune and never to speak her truth.


Who is this woman and who created her?

I’ll tell you who, our old abused selves.


The “perfect woman” was chiseled from the marble of fear. Fear that we where never worthy of love, safety and compassion so we had to become the “perfect woman” allowing the pattern of abuse and repression to continue as we conformed and sacrificed for the needs of others to feel loved and safe. We have all had lives where we have been male and female, so when I say “our needs”, I mean it. We, in our disempowered, unhealed state made her believe that in conforming to this image she would EARN safety, love, and a place in our homes. That she would be righteous and worth defending in her “purity.” Then, and only then, would she be worth “saving.” If she had lost her sense of purity, and lacked perfection then there is no need to defend her. That was her fault. She chose that road.


And still to this day women put this illusion of perfection on a pedestal in their minds, above any and all other beliefs. Even allowing that illusion to generate judgment for other women. And the marble woman screams:


Don’t be too loud, men don’t like loud women.


Don’t be too desirable.


Don’t be too beautiful, just beautiful enough.

Don’t be too intelligent.

Don’t challenge his security.

Don’t be too successful.

Don’t take up too much space, they don’t like that.


Don’t be too sexual, you will tempt him.


Don’t be comfortable in your body.


But what she is really screaming is:


Don’t be real. Because in your authentic beauty and power, you will free all women of the cage they have been trapped in for centuries. They could not meet her where she was at. So they convinced her to lower herself for acceptance and “love.” But we know better now. We know the truth. The truth is she was perfect all along and we should have nurtured that.

If you need to limit yourself, abuse yourself, silence yourself, hide your pain, alter your image/body/space for love and safety it truly isn’t either love or safety. And you won’t find either in this mentality. You won’t find either searching with this scope: women and men alike.


The only way to win the war, is to learn to value imperfection and to see & expose the illusion of perfection for what it was: a limiting abuse belief placed on the feminine form.

Being comfortable with the beauty of being AUTHENTICALLY YOU is what will awaken the divine feminine and support the rise of the divine masculine here on Earth.

Copyright Protected Jessenia Nozzolillo 2022

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