By Jessenia Nozzolillo
I’m sorry people hurt you and said things to you that still haunt you.
Just know, when they said things like…
“You will never amount to anything.”
“You aren’t anything special.”
“You are only going to get in your own way.”
“You are useless.”
“You are too risky.”
“You are fat and ugly.”
They were never actually talking about you or to you, just reflecting their pain and the things people made them believe onto you because it hurt too much for them to continue carrying it, and they didn’t know how to heal it.
Sometimes that’s the lesson.
If we take everything with us and keep carrying it, we actually forget that it never belonged to us in the first place. We made it so comfortable we assume it’s part of our personality and way of life. We forget to consider its validity and therefore recognize that it was a simple projection of pain that didn’t originate here and consequently didn’t have to stay. Put it down. Walk away from it and stop letting yourself carry other's wounds. RETURN TO SENDER.
This is an exercise spirit walked me through where I sat still with my eyes closed and listened to these memories and moments freely playing in the background of my mind. I tried to yell over them, drown them out. Kick them out. Spirit said, “Energy cannot be destroyed, and you can't ever heal these because they didn't originate here.” Healing is the act of energetic transmutation. We go into a memory to change its energetic composition, therefor healing the residual pain projected from the moment. If it didn’t originate with us, we have no control over that moment in time. It was not ours to recreate. I asked, “Ok then, what do I do with them?”
“Send them back to the originating source so they can begin healing their wounds.”
So I sat with the thought, word, or phrase, listened well, and said, show me the sender. Then I saw people in the past who handed me their pain. My father, my grandmother, my grandfather these people were a part of my early childhood. I sat with each one, and they took everything they dumped on me. Every comment leaving my body and energy, for good, back to theirs as they worked through the pain that created that response. Not only was I finally released, but so were they! They found healing!
With every word, I felt my energy shift, align, pains subside, stress, limitations, shame all slowly lift. Even recognizing patterns in my later years that derived from these words that I held onto! With every word released, I felt more like myself. These specific words weren't just words. They were tied of such deeply traumatizing events that one could feel the weight and pain of the word. And after this clearing, I realized how many decisions I had made in my life aligned to that pain and not to my purpose. I chose people who participated in those limiting abusive beliefs. I didn't think I was worthy of happiness or health. I constantly felt like “damaged goods” and chose people who also believed it. So on and so on, the lessons kept coming like a flood of new knowledge.
Now that I am free of it, I see how heavily that pain weighed on me. But also how necessary it was so simply,
PUT. IT. DOWN. and return it to the sender, so they may find peace, too!
Copywrite Protected Jessenia Nozzolillo 2021
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