By Jessenia Nozzolillo
Predictions of death and warnings from spirit.
How many times have you already been warned, but didn't listen?
Finally have a small moment to share some of this experience and reflect.
My mother is very gifted. She has always been psychic and seen things in people about their past, present, and future that she shouldn’t know or see. She also has plenty of other very powerful gifts.
She would have a reoccurring vision through a dream that she was lying at the end of her driveway covered in blood. She would ask me why. Why do I keep seeing this? I don’t read my mother like that. I am her daughter. Nothing in me wants to see her dead. I would naturally block that vision, always saying the same thing. “This is your vision. What is it telling you? What do you see? Dig deeper. I think it’s a warning.” Sometimes we would go deeper with it. Other times we didn’t. I would teach and train her, give her homework, try to encourage her to amplify it, and expand her gift. But she didn't believe in her power. She didn't think she could do anything “great” with it. She compared herself to me and was discouraged. So she never took any of her visions seriously. Not even this one that haunted her all these years.
The day before her accident, every time I tried to connect with spirit, I was OVERWHELMED with anxiety and pain. A terrible migraine that made me so ill I thought I could throw up. I never get these. Never. Then, my daughter, who is also very gifted text me from school and said, “Do you have this overwhelming feeling like something is wrong?” I said, “Yep!” And that inspired me to check in on my mother.
I blame myself for not paying more attention to what they were trying to tell me, and sometimes I wonder if I could have done more with it. Maybe I could have read into it and seen what would happen. But the “migraine” was so overwhelming I couldn’t connect. Maybe I was protecting myself from seeing something I wasn’t supposed to interfere with. I’m not fully sure yet! Perhaps I’ll never be sure. Maybe when everything is settled, I will know exactly why and get more answers from spirit. Maybe I won't.
So I realized in that pain I couldn’t work or connect and tried to do other things. Clean, check on the kids and pets, eat, and suddenly I felt great. For some strange reason, I was “daydreaming” about all the the beautiful things I wanted for my mom. A meaningful career or hobby, time with family, where I was going to bring her. It was so vivid it almost felt real. Like it was going to happen, and nothing could stop it. I would go back to work and try to connect and nothing but pain.
Eventually, I texted my mother, To check-in. She said, “I see something in this photo,” I said, “Nice, what is it?”
She said one of her grandchildren’s names, a number, and her father.
She said it’s me holding up a sign to myself.
Not very long after, I got a call. “Mom fell. It was a really bad fall. She didn't realize how bad it was, but by the time I checked in with her, she needed help. I brought her straight into the er. She must have a concussion.”
I said, “Did she fall at the end of the driveway?” he said, “Yes, slipped on ice taking out the trash.”
I felt my stomach drop. I've heard this story hundreds of times. She saw it hundreds of times. It was not just a concussion. I booked a ticket right away. I knew it was more. As I'm packing, I get the next call, “It’s much worse! internal bleeding, swelling of the brain, she's in extreme pain...”
Yesterday waiting for news of my mother's surgery, I looked up the number she saw, and I realized her future self was actually sending me a message of hope. A message that things would be scary but ok. Then, by chance, my sister-in-law brought up her child and said, “We went to check on your mom because my son fell, and it reminded me that she said something about falling, and I needed to know she was ok.” That child was the same child in her message. His fall, Initiated the events that saved her life. They showed up and found her in bad shape, and brought her to the er. Her father is deceased. Before he died, his soul came to me to tell me and warn me, then helped me train my gifts. It was a “warning” and message for her. He never came to see her like this, but she knew he would help me and warn me when I needed help.
She saw this all but couldn’t put her finger on what it meant.
But how many of us override, disregard, ignore and turn off our OWN godly warning system? We are all gifted! She got all the signs! She had a trainer! She had the road, the keys, the car, but she didn’t drive it. She had a hard time believing in her power. She had a hard time believing she was “worthy” of such a gift because she still saw gifts as an anomaly and was still working through her own trauma healing. Gifts are not a “parlor trick.” They are not for manipulation and vengeance. They are a guide to life. A process of living. A map to a healthy healing road. They warn us, align us, show us compassion, make us think, nurture us, connect us, empower us, heal us, and, yes, sometimes save us.
People always say, “Your family must be so lucky to have you,” and I always say not really. The gift feels like a curse sometimes when and if you “miss” something like this. It feels like the worst punishment. I can help so many people. I can warn you about their abuse, cheating, mistreatment, intentions, the job, the accident, the healing. But because my own human emotions and fears are not directly tied to it.
But what is scarier and more emotional than losing a mom or child? Nothing. You sign up for the blessing and beauty of the connection, which also means pain in the loss because eventually, we all die. The trick is, the experience must be more powerful than the death.
I asked spirit, “How do I shut this off so I can properly protect them?” They said, “Shut your emotions off? Shut your motherhood off? Stop being a daughter? You can’t, Jessenia! It is a healthy and necessary part of this human experience. You love them and, therefore, will always have a hard time seeing their death. You will naturally never be comfortable with that. It will be the worse trauma any of us ever faces and, therefore, the worst one to see. That is a natural part of human nature. So your pain may stop you from seeing it, but your experience and continued guidance in the good moments means that if and when tragedy strikes, you have very little to regret. So it hurts less. The most painful part of grief is the regret. When we love with all our hearts, full of pure intention, with happy memories, forgiveness, compassion, laughter, we have very little to regret when those waves of grief come. We are filled with deep love and gratitude for those precious moments. Losing our loved ones is never easy. NEVER. Not as a human or a soul. Grief is a natural element of life. But grief is healed by love. The more love you had in the moments, the easier it is to move out of that grief and into gratitude. The pain is lesser as love and gratitude neutralize some of the pain. It will never go away. But it will feel less overwhelming.”
We may still be warned if the incident wasn’t somehow our “plan” and if it was our responsibility to intervene. But as much as I tried to see that for her, I couldn’t. And now I see some of the “why.” It was one of the worst moments of my life. I am very gifted, but also very human. And that is what I am here to teach. We must learn to embrace the two, and make them work together, taking accountability for our own destiny and divinity. A healer shows you the road. You are still fully responsible for driving the car, and it doesn't matter how much I love you, I will never be able to drive that car for you.
Copyright protected Jessenia Nozzolillo 2022
Image from Radwear