Love is the most powerful energy in the cosmos. Love fuels creation, and evolution. Our desire to be more loving encourages expansion, growth, and thus existence itself.
Trauma? Places we lacked love. Times someone tried to project their pain onto us and convince us that we weren’t worthy of love. Why would anyone do that? Because they are deeply wounded themselves! If they don’t believe they are worthy of love, then they will instill that in their partners and connections, so they aren’t alone in their pain because they don’t recognize the wound and aren’t sure how to repair it. Because they don’t recognize how to give their partners what they never had, they instead use what they know. Emotional deterioration. Manipulation. Emotional outbursts. Controlling behavior. Blame. Guilt. All things they learned to reduce self-love in themselves.
Although love is the most powerful energy, it severely lacks here on Earth. WE HAVE NOT CREATED A REALITY IN WHICH LOVE THRIVES. What’s that mean? We don’t love and respect ourselves as we are, or the beauty industry would go out of business. We don’t love our partners; we are taught to choose partners based on security, their ability to provide and be present for you, their potential— not who they are. We don’t love our Earth; we instead pollute and destroy it daily. That is the foundation of the issue. But it continues in millions of micro behaviors that make love a rarity on Earth, instead prioritize money, corporations, big businesses, and government control.
We are taught to “love” these systems and forsake anything else that doesn’t fit into this mindset. We are raised for money. Educate, grow, and marry for money. And that in itself is strong enough to encourage people to put real love aside. We fight love for money. To survive. To “be the best” at one particular thing. To “succeed.” We fight love because love no longer thrives and runs the world we are living in.
This makes it very hard for beings of love to thrive. They have a hard time choosing between our “social norms” and “divine love.” They have a hard time choosing between relating to others or following their soul. They have a hard time letting go of relationships because they know that person is worthy and simply carrying their own pain projected through their actions. They have a hard time with the “mundane” aspects of our world, like working and living without love and passion. To others, this may come off as lazy, depressed, entitled, confused, stuck.
But in reality, it’s defeat.
So how do we manage those we love without creating more pain? You can still love someone holding a knife. But you don’t have to keep walking into the knife. It’s ok to admit that you deeply love someone who simply isn’t ready in this lifetime to reciprocate a healthy reflection of that love.
I have never stopped loving the people from my past. There were times I might have been shocked or upset with their actions. But I’m always reminded that their actions were simply reflections of their pain, and that doesn’t make them unworthy of my love. I don’t need to take that personally. But I also don’t need to keep walking into the knife because real love would never ask that of me. You can love someone at a distance. But it’s important to recognize that love, real love is unconditional. It doesn’t say “if you behave this way/do these things/create this reality/obey/submit/agree/heal/change, then I will love you.” Love simply is, free of conditions. Free of lists. Free of manipulation. Free of judgment. Everything you placed on that, is a trauma passed on through our society that simply isn’t run on love.
Copyright Protected Jessenia Nozzolillo 2020 art by: Moesalah